Who are you accountable to?

I recently caught up with a friend who had moved to Vancouver to pursue schooling. He finished that and is now waiting to hear back from the RCMP and this other csi-type place to see if he's been accepted to their training camp or not. He was explaining to me their grueling screening process. One of the aspects of the screening is taking a lie detector test, aka the polygraph. They would ask you about any felonies you may have committed, any small crimes you didn't report, any illegal activities you didn't get caught for, any relatives you have that do bad stuff.. anything and everything they would ask you about, you were expected to spill it, or ruin your chances at getting in.

If he gets in and he moves up the ranks, he would have to take the polygraph a few more times. So he was telling me how it's been messing with his head. He was on this go-train type of system in Vancouver where it's based on the honour system. You buy your ticket, have it on you, but no one checks regularly if you have it. This one time he forgot to buy the monthly pass, and he went on without any ticket/pass. Even though he could've gotten away with it, he knew he would have to fess up to it later. So after his trip he went to buy a ticket just to throw it out after, so he could be of good conscience.

Another time he had a chance to pick up a newspaper from those dispensers for free, but for the same reason as the train ride, he put in the money anyway, so he wasn't feeling like a criminal. Even the people he hangs out with he has to be careful about.. He has to be weary of those who engage in stupid activities, in case he has to 'report' it in his polygraph and rat them out. I guess it's a good thing to get used to.. since if he got accepted and worked as an RCMP he'd have to report and arrest his friends doing illegal stuff anyway.

Not that my friend wouldn't, but he more or less has to live a fairly truthful life, for the sake of his job security. He always has that in the back of his mind whenever he does anything. These RCMP prospects keep him accountable in his lifestyle and decisions. I think it's very common to think it's ok to do something, as long as we don't get caught, as long as it's not really a big thing. But having this RCMP deal keeping him accountable to his actions, I'm sure sooner or later down the road he won't even think twice about not paying for the ride or getting the newspaper. It will be ingrained in his mind to live with integrity. He almost has to un-train his mind of the kind of thinking our society teaches us.

In the same way I consider if my friend lives a more truthful life than some Christians I know. Sure, some of it is out of fear of losing his future job, but I think it still applies. And some of it is out of obligation but he still chooses to do the 'right' thing. I also wonder if some Christians live with this kind of integrity, accountability and transparency. Do we fear God the way my friend fears his future boss? Or rather.. do we love and want to honour God to the extent my friend will go out of his way to make sure he's on a good conscience? Do we have people in our lives to ask us the tough questions, and as a response are we truthful? Are we even truthful to ourselves? Are we the same person no matter who we are with and where we are?

I hope the answer is yes! Or at least that we/you are striving towards living a life of integrity.

*rebecca

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Compartmentalization.
At my company, we're told by HR that what we do on our own time is private and that it's not the company's problem unless it begins to affect our work. We live in this world where we party so hard on Friday and Saturday nights, doing many things we would never share with anyone, and then show up on Sunday morning at church raising our arms in the air to praise the Lord. We go to family dinners with our grandparents and relatives, put on a smile and pretend we're these great kids when deep down, we know there are so many things we're hiding and are terrified at what they would think if they found out.

I will openly admit that I've struggle with lust and impure thoughts, that I drank and smoked, I betrayed friends and hurt many others, I've had many failed dating relationships, and I've lied to people I'm close to in order to save face. I'm weak and I can't hold it together. I'm older than all of you and should now be wiser but I'm not. I don't have it all together and have no idea where I'm headed and that freaks me out. I've preached to others about faith in Christ while being afraid that they'll see I have none. I've led worship and proclaimed that God is good while not fully knowing it because of the uncertainty I was in.

Being open and honest about who I am, the things I struggle with and the touchy things about me that aren't usually brought up in church doesn't only make me feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders, it causes me to admit that my life isn't a bunch of small compartments or unrelated segments. I am created in Christ to be WHOLE and there's no way I can break my life into little pieces and expect to be able to hold it together.

*sam